Helping Women and Children break the cycle of domestic violence...

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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1800 656 463

If you need an interpreter call TTY
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If anyone is in physical danger or about to be harmed, call the POLICE on 000 immediately!

Myth 4: Violence is a healthy release. It is understandable.
It may be healthy to express your anger, but it needs to be expressed in a way that doesn’t demean, abuse, frighten, harass or control another person or damage their property.

Myth 5: If the abuser regrets his actions, and shows remorse, he will change.  
Abusers usually do sincerely regret their actions – see “The Cycle of Abuse”. However, this doesn’t mean they will change. The motives for his abusive behaviour are usually too complex, powerful and deep for him to control or heal without help and space from the day-to-day tensions of the relationship.

Myth 6: The family can work it out better if they stay together.
Separation of at least 6 months can help the dynamics of an abusive relationship to change. Usually the work within a family is much more effective if they're apart.

Myth 7: Once you split up, you'll never get back together.
Separation can be a powerful and effective way of creating a new basis for the relationship and lead to getting back together in a more healthy and respectful relationship.

Myth 8: Once an abused woman, always an abused woman. 
Most women who have successfully managed to escape a violent relationship alive are very careful to choose a different type of relationship the next time. Some may also choose to remain alone rather than risk another potentially violent relationship.

Myth 9: Abusers cannot control their violence.
Abusers like to believe this – it’s their excuse, and they won’t have to take responsibility for their violence. The truth is that they can very quickly learn strategies for controlling their abusive behaviours.

Myth 10: Victims deserve to get beaten.
Some people believe that the victim's "nagging" or other unreasonable behaviour pushes the abuser to breaking point. Studies do not support this. Even if the victim does nag or act unreasonable, there is no justification for the use of physical force. Most abused women try very hard to avoid triggering an abusive incident.